


Your Presence

by strawberryredblush



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Hongjoong holes himself up in the studio for days on end, M/M, Seonghwa rambles a lot, They're Roommates btw, and Seonghwa is concerned, overly drawn out confessions, overly sappy title for a work that's mainly banter, the introvert vs extrovert trope kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23536498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryredblush/pseuds/strawberryredblush
Summary: Seonghwa just doesn't get how Hongjoong can go days on end without any substantial human interaction, so he resolves to ask him.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 108





	Your Presence

**Author's Note:**

> Me before writing this: This is only two scenes so it probably won't even reach 1k
> 
> Me after writing this: . . .Well

Seonghwa stares bleary eyed at the ceiling of their college dorm room as he listens to Hongjoong shift around in the bottom bunk trying to get comfortable. This the third day Seonghwa thinks (after Hongjoong had settled down as if his thoughts would interrupt Hongjoong’s attempt to sleep), this is the _third_ day in a row that Hongjoong had spent the entire day at the school studio, only coming home to sleep. 

Maybe it’s because he’s extroverted that he doesn’t get it (though in his opinion most of the human population wouldn’t get it), how can Hongjoong stand so long without any substantial human interaction? He knows he’s introverted so he doesn’t need it nearly as much as Seonghwa does but three whole _days_ with the most human interaction he gets being both of them shuffling around half asleep in the mornings getting ready for the day. Unless you count Seonghwa waking up to the door to the room opening in the night and the single time he had been awake enough to greet him, the other two nights he had just glanced at him before falling back asleep, Seonghwa is pretty sure those don’t count. 

He would nag Hongjoong about this particular habit but he genuinely didn’t seem affected beyond his usual sleep deprivation that Seonghwa had long given up managing for him, college students are all a little sleep deprived, Hongjoong just a bit more (read: a lot more) then most. Seonghwa knows what it looks like when someone has spent too much time alone, Hongjoong doesn’t have that look. So while he is still obviously worried he hasn’t reached the point of forcing Hongjoong home and inviting everyone over (exam preparation time be damned) so he could spend time with them all. Still, as he lets himself fall back asleep, hearing Hongjoong’s quiet breaths that he lets out as he sleeps, he’s resolved to ask him how he does it at a much more reasonable hour.

Seonghwa thinks about asking during the morning but feels guilty asking a half asleep completely out of it Hongjoong. Especially considering how sad it makes him that he can’t just force him back into bed to sleep for a week, it’s exam time next week after all. Which is the entire reason the smaller had become a recluse to such an unhealthy level. His final decision is intruding at the studio a little after dinner knowing the younger wouldn’t have eaten anything beyond grazes at whatever snacks he’d brought with him to the studio. 

Just as planned, a little after dinner Seonghwa gets carry out to give to Hongjoong. The walk from the small restaurant on campus to the music department building is pretty quick and he’s in front of the studio Hongjoong favors with his container of food in no time. He pauses to take in a deep breath, knowing if he didn’t word thing’s properly things could devolve into a one sided argument, Hongjoong did not take kindly to any kind of reminder he wasn’t as indestructible as he thought. After psyching himself up he doesn’t bother knocking and just barges in, knowing the other definitely had his headphones on at this point in the night. 

As he had assumed, Hongjoong had his headphones on and hadn’t noticed his entrance still engrossed in whatever song he was currently working on. Knowing there’s no way to avoid startling him Seonghwa walks over and puts his hand on the other’s shoulder only wincing slightly as Hongjoong almost jumps entirely out of his seat before turning around to see who it was.

“Seonghwa!! Why don’t you ever make an effort not to scare me anytime you visit me here?!” Hongjoong scowls at him but his small and pretty features work against him and just make him look cute and Seonghwa desperately wants to coo at him but holds back, he’s got a question he wants answered after all. 

“Because there’s no point in making an effort when I know no matter how much I try to give you a heads up that I’m coming or are already here, it’s fruitless” He doesn’t let Hongjoong interrupt him with whatever argument he can come up with, this is something Seonghwa knows he’s in the right about. 

“Your cell is on silent and you never bother checking it and no matter how much I knock you would never be able to hear me past those noise cancelling headphones you spent a good chunk of your savings on just to make sure they were top of the line. What do you want me to do? Send smoke signals? There aren’t even any windows in this place for you to see them with.” Seonghwa rambles, accidentally getting riled up over this argument that they have all the time. 

Hongjoong slumps in his seat after the rant, seeming to realize he had no right to be frustrated about being startled a bit when Seonghwa would otherwise never be able to get a hold of him. “Sorry, I just whined without thinking. I forget this is kind of a sore spot for you.” 

The older brightens instantly and waves him off “Whatever, I overreacted, anyway here’s the food I came to give you” he passes Hongjoong the container. 

Hongjoong sits up straighter when he registers the food and takes it, Seonghwa laughs under his breath at how glittery his eyes are while looking at the food. While Hongjoong goes full days without eating properly it’s not out of conscious choice, once he’s in the zone while composing everything else ceases to exist, including his own body’s needs. As a painting major, Seonghwa can kind of understand getting in the zone but he doesn’t think he’ll ever fully understand how Hongjoong’s brain completely tunes out any signs he needs to eat or sleep. 

“Sooo are you just going to stand there?” Hongjoong asks, speech muffled by the spoon in his mouth.

Seonghwa starts a bit “Oh, right! I had a question I wanted to ask.” he thinks being casual about it is the way to go to avoid Hongjoong raising his guard. 

Hongjoong raises an eyebrow at him, spoon still in his mouth, a signal for him to go on.

Seonghwa nods and takes a seat on the small couch the studio had before asking, knowing this wouldn’t be a quick conversation. Hongjoong straightened up in his seat, the older internally cringed when he realized the gesture had tipped off Hongjoong that this would be a serious question. 

“Oh, please continue eating,” Seonghwa gestured to the food when Hongjoong paused in his intake “It’s nothing _that_ serious, there’s just been something confusing me the last couple of days.”

“Okay, well, what is it? You’re sitting there way too formally, so out with it” Hongjoong grumbled, obviously assuming Seonghwa had come to nag about his habits again. Which was a fair assumption, he was asking out curiosity _and_ concern.

“You know this is just how I sit” Seonghwa pouted before quickly stopping as Hongjoong narrowed his eyes and took an aggressive bite of his food in a way that said Seonghwa was about to get kicked out if he didn’t get on with it already. 

“Okay okay, you’ve just been almost completely isolated here for three almost four days at this point and you aren’t going the least bit crazy having been alone for so long, how?” Seonghwa finally blurts out. 

Hongjoong looked confused “You know I don’t get my energy from being around people?” 

Seonghwa sighed a bit exasperated “Hongjoong, there’s a bit of a difference between being introverted and taking some time for yourself and almost completely isolating for several days.”

“Well. . .” Hongjoong mumbles, tapping the spoon against his mouth, a frown appearing on his face as he got lost in thought. There was a minute pause before he continued. “I guess I can’t lie and say I haven’t thought about how long it is I can be alone without much struggle” 

“Have you ever been able to figure out how you do it?” 

Hongjoong had a pout on his face, seemingly reluctant to answer “. . .Maybe” he said finally muttered after a minute. 

“Go on~” The taller goated, nudging Hongjoong several times in the arm.

He groaned “No! You’ll think I’m weird!” 

“Hongjoong, I don’t think I need to remind you who we’re friends with, I’m sure whatever you’re going to tell me isn’t even the weirdest thing I’ve heard today” Seonghwa reassured him. 

The smaller wore at his bottom lip still a bit hesitant but finally sighed after contemplating for another minute “Fine, I think I’ll just make it seem worse than it is if I’m so vague about it anyway. But absolutely no interrupting while I’m still speaking, please listen until the end.”

Seonghwa nodded “Of course.”

Hongjoong nodded back unconsciously and took a deep breath before speaking.

“You aren’t the first person to comment on my ability to spend so much time alone and after the upteenth person who saw me in the studio for days on end questioned me I started to seriously think about it.” He took another bite of his food before continuing. 

“At first I thought it was normal introverted behavior, we don’t get our energy by being around people after all but then I ask some friends who are introverted like me and they told me they could never do what I do because while obviously they don’t need much socialization they would start to feel like they’re going a little crazy if they went without interacting with someone as long as I did.” Hongjoong had been taking bites of his food as he spoke but this time he paused completely and nervously licked his lips before continuing putting his utensils down for the moment. 

“So I thought about it more and for a while it was a real head scratcher, why couldn’t I just have this ability for no reason?” He chuckled a bit “But I was curious too so I continued trying to figure what it was exactly that kept me from feeling isolated. . .and then. . .” he trailed off frowning down at his lap, his hands tightening into fists. 

Seonghwa couldn’t take how stiff and nervous Hongjoong looked so without letting himself overthink it, he reached his hand over, putting it over one of Hongjoong’s fists, squeezing it reassuringly. It looked like it startled him momentarily but he soon turned his palm up and gave a squeeze in return before loosening his tense muscles and continuing on, still looking down. 

“And then I compared the times I did end up feeling terrible after spending so long alone with the times I didn’t and I found the difference pretty uh- pretty quickly, when I stopped overthinking it” Hongjoong suddenly looked up, straight at him “Do you want to know what was different?” 

He blinked, wide eyed and nodded. 

“You promise to believe me and not assume I’m joking? And continue being quiet until I’m completely done explaining?”

He nodded again. While he was deeply confused why this situation had become so serious and why the smaller seemed to need so much reassurance, there must be a reason why answering the question was so distressing to Hongjoong and it was admirable that he pressed on despite that. 

Hongjoong seemed to not lose his nerve, still looking straight at Seonghwa as he spoke “It was you, the difference was you” he took a pause to suck in a shaky breath before continuing on faster than Seonghwa could properly register the last statement. “When I thought about it simply I realised the difference between when I actually felt the repercussions of spending so much time alone and when I didn’t, I realised the difference was whether you were there, when I came home. I realised that just your presence was enough for me when I came back from incredibly long hours alone in the studio. ”

Seonghwa was shocked and scrambling to comprehend if he heard right, he couldn’t have interrupted if he wanted to. 

“And- and I know how that sounds, it sounds romantic and I’d argue more about it not being like that but. . .but it really is like that” Hongjoong is at first making spastic movements in clear frustration but the more he talks the more he seems to deflate until he’s hanging his head limply, his hand only loosely still holding onto his. 

He isn’t dense. He's almost certain he knows what Hongjoong means but he feels the need to ask anyway “What’s really like that?” he croaked. Maybe he would have laughed at how awkward he and Hongjoong were wording everything but his throat was suddenly dry and it was hard to speak. 

“I do have romantic feelings for you” Hongjoong whispered hoarsely, not looking up. 

Seonghwa might have been having an inner crisis at the sudden confession but he knew if he froze in shock for too long Hongjoong would take it the wrong way. And while it was dizzying trying to process this all at the speed he needed to, he didn’t want the smaller to think he didn’t like him back. So while he was still speechless he repositioned his and Hongjoong’s limp hand, clasped them together and squeezed. Seeing Hongjoong look up for a second but quickly look back down before being able to see his face clearly, obviously terrified of his reaction, squeezed his lungs even more breathless but it also gave the courage he needed to speak. 

“Hongjoong, look at me, please” he whispered pleadingly, rubbing the other’s thumb with his in a soothing manner. 

It takes a minute but finally he lifts his head, once again staring straight at Seonghwa but it’s obvious to him how nervous the other is by his eyes. 

He wants to comfort him with a hug so bad but he doesn’t want to spook the other without even confessing back so he settles for giving his hand another squeeze and making sure there’s a reassuring smile on his face. “I would tease you a little if it wasn’t obvious how much you’re freaking out and it would make me a hypocrite because no matter how calm I look I’m screaming internally.”

Hongjoong laughs weakly causing the smile on the other’s face to grow, Hongjoong ducks his head down in minor embarrassment but he quickly lifts it back looking a little calmer. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to keep you in suspense, I'm just trying to process everything and give you a proper answer and you know I tend to ramble to fill the silence.” 

The other shakes his head “It’s fine, I really just sprung this on you with no warning because I got sudden courage and I didn’t want to waste it” his eyes shine with guilt. 

Seonghwa chuckles a bit “Please Hongjoong, we’re going to keep going back and forth at this point, neither of us are at any kind of fault”

Hongjoong nods his head sheepishly.

“Now, the answer you deserve-” Seonghwa saw how Hongjoong winced and swatted at the other’s shoulder with his free hand “Don’t give me that look, my answer is so obvious” he whined. 

“Uh no it isn’t” Hongjoong mumbled, dodging another swat. 

“Yes it is, if you weren’t unconsciously obtuse and always had some explanation ready for all my less than platonic actions” Seonghwa groused pout on his face.

He looked honestly shocked “What do you mean?”

“Hongjoong, I literally give you goodnight kisses anytime you actually make it home before I fall asleep” Seonghwa deadpanned. 

“Don’t friends do that?” The other said, obviously trying to save face. 

“Which friends have you seen do that?”

“San and Yunho?”

“You think those two have platonic feelings for each other?” Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. 

“Well. . .I guess not” Hongjoong said starting to get huffy at this point. 

Seonghwa nodded before shaking his head “Okay we’re going back and forth again, stop distracting me from giving my answer already” He glared when the other opened his mouth and sat back satisfied when he shut his mouth at the glare “As I was saying it’s very obvious I also have romantic feelings for you” it was clear he was making fun of Hongjoong’s wording and burst out laughing when he got a swat of his own.

“Shut up! I was nervous! You’re lucky I didn’t just punch you and run out of the room!” Hongjoong’s face was completely red in a way that reminded Seonghwa of tinkerbell. 

He finally pulled the smaller into a hug with the hand he’d been holding this entire time (it was frankly a wonder their palms weren’t sweaty), still laughing. Smiling faintly when Hongjoong clutched onto the back of his shirt as he buried his face in the smaller’s hair. 

“Not fair, you know physical affection shuts me up” Hongjoong muttered into his chest. 

“Whatever it takes for some peace and quiet with my newly acquired boyfriend” Seonghwa took the fists to his back and just held onto him tighter until he stopped. 

“Is it that hard to keep from teasing me? Can’t you be nice to said new boyfriend?” Hongjoong looked up at him and pouted. 

He simply pecked the other’s pouting lips causing him to shriek in surprise. “I know for a fact if I treated you any differently because we’re dating now, you’d have my head” 

“I can’t say you’re wrong” Hongjoong begrudgingly admitted. 

Seonghwa snickered and stood up taking Hongjoong with him “Now, I think this emotionally exhausting evening should end with cuddles and I refuse to wait until three in the morning for them, you can afford going home early one night” 

Hongjoong looked hesitate for a moment before sighing and nodding his assent “I wanted to argue but I think at this point, I’d be doing for arguments' sake since you’re right” 

The taller nods before he gets an idea and grins wickedly as he picks Hongjoong up. The other puts up a fight for a minute before deflating in his arms making himself heavy but Seonghwa still didn’t budge, making Hongjoong sigh in defeat.

“You better not leave the food here or I’ll kick and scream bloody murder all the way home” he threatened causing Seonghwa to laugh as he nodded and carried Hongjoong over to where he left the food container, letting him pick it up. And that’s how they walk back to the dorm, Seonghwa carrying Hongjoong and Hongjoong carrying his food. 

~

“Oh by the way I’m going to tease you relentless about how this all went down starting tomorrow”

“SEONGHWA” 

**Author's Note:**

> This obviously isn't some masterpiece but it was supposed to be a quick drabble that was minimally edited and then it turned into This.
> 
> Anyway! This was just me romanticizing my ability to go days on end as Seonghwa says "with no substantial human interaction" if I'm just in the presence of someone I'm comfortable with. It's not romantic irl, I got that kind of comfort from my college roommate I wasn't even close to lol but I thought it'd be cute with seongjoong so this was written.
> 
> Also sorry if anything is awkwardly worded, sentence structure gets jumbled up in my head.


End file.
